General Notes for a Wedding in the Catholic Church

Congratulations! You've decided to get married. You want to know what happens if you get married in the Roman Catholic Church. These notes (though they're heavy reading!) are meant to make your wedding day happy, memorable and a good start to your married life.

Booking The Church

Because your marriage is very important, we want you to prepare well for it. We normally require six months notice of an intended marriage to be given to your local parish priest. The parishes in Aberdeen and surrounding areas are listed in the phone book under 'Catholic Church'. Don't assume that the church will be free. It's always wiser to check the availability of the church for the date you want before you go booking hotels and paying deposits.

Marriages do not normally take place during Lent, the seven weeks before Easter, because it is a season of penance. Nevertheless, if a couple wants to marry in Lent, they may do so, although the decorations (flowers, etc.) may be more restrained. On Good Friday and Holy Saturday, we cannot hold any weddings ceremonies.

Six months notice is required, so that the papers can be prepared in time, or to be sure that the Church will be available. The idea is to ensure that couples entering marriage have been seriously considering it for at least that length of time, and that nobody makes the mistake of marrying under pressure or under impulse. If you are giving us less than six months notice, the parish priest may need to obtain the bishop's permission to go ahead with the wedding arrangements.

Civil Requirements

Though your wedding may take place in church, you are obliged by law to see the civil registrar as well. You should do this about six weeks before the intended date; earlier, if you are not a British citizen. It is your responsibility: if you do not get the marriage schedule from the registrar, the wedding cannot take place.

Papers

There are a number of documents you will need in order to be married. It can seem very complicated but there are various reasons behind all of them.

Baptismal Certificate

This should be a recent copy, i.e. issued not more than six months before the date of marriage. Of course a Christian can marry someone who is not a Christian, but one of you needs to be a Catholic! A baptismal certificate proves that you are. The time factor here is because whenever a person is married the parish where he/she was baptised is notified and this would be included on any certificates issued in the future. It's a simple way of covering the legal obligation of making sure that neither person is already married. You will get the baptismal certificate from the parish in which you were baptised.

Confirmation certificate

If you were confirmed in the Catholic Church, a Confirmation certificate is also required. 'Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before being admitted to marriage, if this can be done without grave inconvenience.' (Church Law, par. 1065/1)

Letter of Freedom

A letter of freedom is required only if you have lived in a parish other than the present one, for a period of six months or more, since your mid teens. This shows that there is no record of you having contracted marriage during the period you lived there. A simple letter from one of your parents (should they still be alive), stating that you have never been married before, would normally be sufficient.

Pre-Nuptial Enquiry

This has two main purposes. The first is to get some basic details about you as a couple (name, address, parents, etc.) and to establish that you are legally free to marry. The second purpose is to enable the priest or deacon in your parish to make sure that you have a reasonable understanding of the meaning of Christian marriage, and that you are willing to make a commitment to it.

Inter-Church or Inter-Faith Marriage

It is more common nowadays for a Catholic to marry someone who is of a different church or faith. The Catholic partner is should requests permission from the local bishop to marry a baptised Christian of another religious denomination; or a dispensation to marry someone of another faith or someone who has never been baptised. Your parish priest processes this request.

The celebrant will be a minister of the Church in which the ceremony takes place, but a minister of the other denomination can assist him. If a Catholic wants to get married in a church of another denomination, he or she should ask the priest or deacon about a dispensation from the bishop to celebrate the marriage according to the form used by another Christian Church. Your parish priest processes this request.

By signing the Pre-Nuptial Enquiry form the Catholic partner, in an inter-church marriage, makes a written promise and declaration to do everything possible to have the children of the marriage baptised and brought up in the Catholic Church. There is no promise required from the person who is not a Catholic. The Catholic Church recognises that the other partner to the marriage may feel an equal obligation to hand on his or her faith to the children, and this also has to be taken into account in the practical decisions that the couple take. At first sight this approach may seem far from ideal, until one looks at the alternatives. One positive aspect of this is that the couple discuss what might be a difficult issue for them before the marriage takes place, rather than leaving it until perhaps it becomes contentious.

Marriage Preparation Course

Since marriage involves sharing one's life with another person in a very close and intimate kind of way, special consideration needs to be given to knowledge about Christian marriage (1st period of preparation) and addressing important relationship issues (2nd period of preparation). 1st period: The priest or deacon preparing you for your marriage organises a few sessions with you as a couple, and with a group of other engaged couples, to discuss the Catholic Church's teaching on the sacrament of marriage. 2nd period: He may involve others, like already married couples, to help you address important relationship issues. In this case everything said to the couple remains confidential and not passed on to the priest or deacon. There are a variety of preparation materials offered for this 2nd part of the preparation. Some of them can be discussed with the priest. Please note that in this 2nd part you are not required to share anything that you feel uncomfortable with.

Couples are also encouraged to attend a day course led by Scottish Marriage Care, a Catholic organisation that specialises in marriage related issues (optional).

The Wedding Ceremony

On the day of your wedding, the marriage ceremony is especially yours. Within fairly broad limits, you can plan it for yourself. Obviously, it is important to do your planning in consultation with the celebrant (priest or deacon), so that he can offer his advice, and so that he knows what you want.

If both partners are Roman Catholic normally there will be a Mass, although it is not absolutely necessary that there should be one. The celebration of your marriage could be done within a service of prayers and scripture readings. It is appropriate, however, to choose the Mass, because it is a celebration of self-giving, and Marriage is a sacred sign of self-giving love and unity.

In an inter-church marriage couples usually choose not to have a Mass, because the non-Catholic partner and his or her family would not be able to participate fully in the reception of Communion (this may apply also when your partner is not a baptised person).

In the case of a Mass, there are normally two or three Scripture readings. If there are three, it would normally be one each from the Old and New Testaments, and one passage from the Gospel. The arrangement would be much the same in the case of a marriage service outside of Mass.

Music
You need to contact the local priest or deacon where the marriage is to take place.

Flowers & Confetti

If you want a special display of flowers, you can arrange that with a florist. We would be grateful if you wouldn't throw confetti within the building and its surroundings; it is also illegal to throw confetti in the street!

Fees

The Church does not charge for the sacraments. However, you may wish to give a donation to the priest or deacon who celebrates your wedding - after all, he's probably done a lot of work! The organist's fee is only official charge, as such, that we make. Please ask the local priest about it.


Outline of the Ceremony

There will be a rehearsal near to the wedding day, so there is no need to worry about details. However, the ceremony (without a Nuptial Mass) goes like this.

Introductory Rites
Bride's entry procession (accompanied by music)
Welcome
Hymn '
Opening Prayer

Liturgy of the Word
Readings from Scripture, including a responsorial psalm (which could be sung)
Homily given by the priest or deacon

Liturgy of Marriage
Address
Declaration of Consent (in question-answer form, and then by solemn vow by
groom and bride)
Blessing of rings
(Hymn, if you wish)
Intercessions
Nuptial Blessing
(The Lord's prayer and exchange of sign of peace)
Signing of documents (accompanied by music, a song or hymn, or instrumental)

Concluding Rite
Hymn
Blessing
Dismissal
Newly-weds' procession (with music, hymn or song, or instrumental)



Preparation to Marriage in Inverurie/Alford area
- Please call the parish priest at least 6 months before your proposed marriage would take place.
(Tel: 01467 620319).
- After a short introduction, we have a pre-nuptial enquiry to establish if we can go ahead with your proposed marriage. You are also informed about what kind of papers we need.

If there is no problem to go ahead with your proposed marriage, we arrange at least 6 meetings (1st part), where you and the parish priest talk through the Church's teaching on marriage and than (2nd part) a trained married couple or the parish priest helps you to look at interpersonal and other issues that can influence a marriage. There is a variety of preparation materials available for this 2nd part. You are not required to share anything that you feel uncomfortable with!

- At the end of our preparation I ask the local Bishop, on your behalf, to give permission to go ahead with your marriage.
- Regarding any practical arrangement (date of marriage, place of reception, etc.) please first talk to the parish priest!!

We also recommend for couples to take part in a PRE-Marriage day course at the Scottish Marriage Care centre (Aberdeen) in addition to our parish preparation. For more info log on to www.scottishmarriagecare.org